Alternate Post
“They’ve probably started the raffle by now.” Art said while watching the fish. I took my last bite of Rice Krispy treat and agreed, “Yeah. Let’s go in there. Not that I’ll win anything, I never do.”
Art had told me about winning an Air poster at the last 360Flex so I wasn’t surprised when his number was called out as the winner of a lynda.com training DVD. We wondered whether a person was allowed to win twice. They had been at the last one, but only because of an oversight. The second prize was always withheld once they realized their mistake. I wasn’t too disappointed at not winning the DVD, it was for beginning to intermediate, and a master of data-driven controls like me is far beyond that level. However, as much as I tried to keep my hopes from getting out of hand, I couldn’t help wanting a copy of the Flex 3 Cookbook. One of the three copies was even signed by Doug McCune and Deepa Subramaniam! Who cares if they weren’t the authors, when you’re as famous as those two you can sign your name on ANYTHING and it turns to gold. I once saw Kurt Rambis sign his name on a vending machine; the entire thing turned to solid gold and only dispensed quart-sized YooHoos after that.
I was probably more surprised than anyone when my number was called out as the winner of the second copy of Flex 3 Cookbook. I had done such a good job keeping my dreams in check that I was already convinced I wouldn’t win anything. As I accepted my prize I wondered if I had won the autographed copy. I wanted to open it up right there in front of everyone like a bear wants to open up a pot-filled beehive. I’m stronger than most bears though, so I was able to resist the urge until I sat down. As I peeled back the front cover I caught a glimpse of some scribbling on the inside and I let out a yawp so loud that it was only drowned out by the deafening applause of the audience as the next winner was announced. I was so happy that I instantly wet myself, and had to have my friend Art hold the book so it’s pages wouldn’t get wavy. Shortly afterward, the raffle ended and I was able to go change into some EffectiveUI boxers that I stole from Smeagol’s bag (David Hassoun, you know who I’m talking about) when he wasn’t looking.
I’m now sitting in the airport waiting for my flight and caressing my new book. Teddy Ruxpin, you’re getting kicked out of my bed and replaced by my autographed Flex 3 Cookbook.
